“My son, I have lived a ling, full life. Take the other parachute and save yourself.”The Boy Scout just smiles. “Don’t worry, Your Holiness. The world’s smartest man just jumped out of the plane wearing my backpack!”The following items are compliments of J & B.After the brief Falkland Islands war, a British regiment commander was addressing some troops under his command who had heroically performed above and beyond the call of duty. He informed them that Her Majesty’s Army had committed to reward each of the three soldiers 100 pounds per inch of distance between two different parts of the man’s body.The commander addressed the first soldier, “Where would you like to be measured, Sergeant?”“From the tip of me head to the soles of me feet, Sir!”, he replied.“Very good!”, the commander said, and the sergeant was measured at 6’5”. He was paid the handsome sum of 7000 pounds.The second soldier was asked, “What about you, Corporal?”“Between the tips of the fingers of me outstretched arms,. She removed my legs from the tub and started cleaning them with towel.I was very frustrated and decided to let her know about my feeling. Gathering some courage, I said: “Meera, I want to tell you something.” and went near her ears.I said, “I love you” and kissed her on her lips, keeping one hand on her boobs and one on her waist. I kissed her for 5-10 seconds. And she pushed me away and started crying like a small child.Meera: what are you doing! Are you mad? How dare to touch me there? You know what, I’m leaving, I am ending this friendship right away.Me: I am sorry Meera, I really tried to hide my feelings. And I have been hiding them since the last 2 and half years. I can’t live without you. I love you. Really, I do.Meera: you are crazy, Ankita. Bye.I pulled her in my arms and starting crying while hugging her. “Please don’t go, I’ll die without you. I love you very much” I said looking in her eyes. Then I kissed her again, holding her face with my both hands. I hugged her after.
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